Humour, mystery and downright stupid stuff! That’s his middle name….erm…..names.
We look down the barrel of a gun, at a besuited comedy magician called Thom Peterson. He enters centre-frame, aims his gun and fires. Red washes over the screen. Fade to black.
Thom maintains that magicians just want to be Bond, and who can blame him? He and Mark talk about their favourite — and least-favourite — Bonds, the trouble with the E-on canon (which is not a villainous super-weapon), and much more.
Honourable mentions go to Mr Wint and Mr Kidd from Diamonds are Forever. Mark also reveals that he’s looking forward to seeing Rami Malek as the next villain, when No Time to Die hits cinemas in April 2020.
Expect swearing, Bond trivia, an extraordinary amount of incorrect information, and spoilers.
In order of discussion:
The titular Man with the Golden Gun, played by Christopher Lee makes it to the top of Thom’s list, for deeply personal reason. Also he shot people with gold, was an equal-opportunity employer and liked to bone down before a kill.
The entrepreneur from Die Another Day is Thom’s next pick for one specific line, which you’ll hear in the episode. (Try and ignore the fact that Mark then launches into talking about GoldenEey, which is a different film).
If you gotta go, why not get strangled to death by Famke Janssen? Thom enjoys the character and Janssen’s portrayal on merits of psychopathy alone.
Christopher Walken’s outing as the villain from A View to a Kill is next on Thom’s list, and is a perfect opportunity for them both try out their impersonations. It’s not necessarily a Bond highlight, but it’s Walken, so it makes the list.
Played by Lotte Lenya, Klebb was part of the blueprint for Frau Farbissina, of Austin Powers fame. Thom likes the fact she can go from warm and caring to entirely on fire in the blink of an eye, and she can attack a man with a shoe-blade.
In order of discussion:
Blofeld has been played by a number of bald men, and Thom suggests that maybe it’s the cat thing that Mark likes about this iconic villain… or is it that Blofeld is very much the archetypical supervillain? Incidentally, Donald Pleasance is the actor Thom is thinking of, who portrayed Blofeld in /You Only Live Twice/, and the film Mark is criticising for having a “bad Bond” is On Her Majesty’s Secret Service, the George Lazenby one.)
Mark’s second pick (who he keeps calling Alex) is a 006 agent played by Sean Bean. The character has a good death, which is one of Mark’s criteria for judging Bond villains.
Goldfinger had the simple scheme of eradicating all the gold in Fort Knox, exercising his entirely logical belief that if he couldn’t have all the money, no-one should have any of the money.
Mark’s next pick wants to build a new moon kingdom and press people to cucumber sandwiches. He also gave viewers the chance to be reunited with Jaws, one of the best henchpeople (which is perhaps a list for another day).
Victor Zokas, more commonly konwn as Renard, was portrayed by Robert Carlyle in The World is Not Enough. Mark enjoyed the Carlyle of it all, but also found the character’s backstory interesting. He also had a very good death. Incidentally, Thom is thinking of Denise Richards (not Linda Hamilton) as the woman behind Dr Christmas Jones.